So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
