I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
