I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
