It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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