# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
