I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
