guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize