Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
