I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
