(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
