that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize
