Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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