I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
i believe in u and ur pee
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
