Your tits are I can't wait for
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
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I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
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I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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