if you like me you must not know who I am
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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