This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
