i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Every concussion has its silver lining
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
