Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
