hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
