one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
