I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
