just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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