operation harelip BJ is a go
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
