I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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