considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
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