just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
