Capitaan dildo arrescate!
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize