he thought i was a dude.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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