I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
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