I can't watch pbs sober anymore
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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