i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
