Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
