They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize