How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
