The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
