i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
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Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
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Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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