Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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