the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
