Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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