Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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