Your mouth is God's brothel.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
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