why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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