As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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