Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up under a house in Key West
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
