so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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