Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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