honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Randomize
