well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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