There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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