we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
