she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
