It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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