If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
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