How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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