What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
