My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
