i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
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