her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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