did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize
