After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
