Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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