How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
It's just like the Real World with babies
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
