So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
