I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
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