He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I'm at about main and main street
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
