Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
