This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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