She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize