So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Randomize
