You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
