I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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