sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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